Cold traffic funnel · review
Ad → Quiz → Diagnosis → Sales page → Checkout, and the emails
Everything below is live and unlinked. Add ?review=1 to any page for the ✎ Note button; notes come to me.
The pages
- Quiz — /pages/sleep-profile — 12 questions, tap-to-advance, two “worth knowing” insights (after Q4 and Q8), email gate before the result with a “Just show me the results” link.
- Diagnosis — /pages/your-sleep-profile — archetype named, their answers read back, what’s happening (softened, no numbers), why what they tried didn’t work (from Q7/Q8), the four conditions, one CTA. No price, no buy button, no product photo.
- Sales page — /pages/what-fixes-this — long-form advertorial (~1,800 words incl. objections), CTAs at 4 depths + sticky bar after 40%, offer reveal late, plan cards, guarantee, objections. Partner section moves to position 2 for The Blocked.
- Checkout — the existing embedded checkout, via=profile. Every sale traces to the archetype and the ad.
- Abandoned checkout — already live for every web checkout, including this funnel: when a Stripe session expires with an email on it, E1 goes within 15 minutes, E2 at +20h, E3 at +3 days, with a one-click recovery link; stops the moment they buy; capped at 3 per person per week.
To jump straight into a read without doing the quiz, do the quiz once — the pages remember your answers on that phone. Cold-loading the diagnosis page sends you to the quiz.
Decisions I made against the spec (product truth)
• “3mm” → the speaker is 12mm; the page says “so thin you won’t feel it / you sleep on your pillow, not on the speaker”. No number.
• “Sleep Club membership” → “Sleep Club” (membership is a banned word).
• “The $30 pillow speaker” → “a plain pillow speaker” (your call: no sticker).
• Price: sells at the public A$199 (renews A$99); shows A$179 only while the launch is genuinely still open — reads the live flip.
• Promise: “you stop waking all the way up” (your call), with the honest line “not that you’ll never wake again”.
• Physiology: “surfacing at the end of ~90-minute cycles, usually not remembered; the next minute or two decides” — general, defensible, no citations, no insomnia/apnoea/tinnitus words. The “90 seconds” in the spec became “a minute or two”.
• Battery: “charges like a phone, up to five nights”. Detection latency: no number stated.
• Proof: ★ 4.4 · 431 owner reviews + verbatim Loox quotes only. No sleep data.
• Emails from “Drowsie <hello@drowsie.com>”, signed The Drowsie team.
The ads (written, not built)
Four hooks — one per Q1 answer, so the ad’s promise is the quiz’s first question. Same body, same headline. Button: Learn more → the quiz.
cf-01 · took ages
Last night you took ages to fall asleep. Twelve quick questions to work out why — and what would actually change it.
Answer twelve questions about your nights and get a read of your pattern — what's actually happening, why what you've tried didn't work, and what would have to change. Under ninety seconds. No email to start.
Headline: Your sleep profile, in two minutes · 12 questions · no email to start · image: A3_settle_night
cf-02 · woke in the night
You woke in the night again. Most people surface several times a night — whether you stay asleep comes down to the next minute or two. Twelve questions to find your pattern.
Answer twelve questions about your nights and get a read of your pattern — what's actually happening, why what you've tried didn't work, and what would have to change. Under ninety seconds. No email to start.
Headline: Your sleep profile, in two minutes · 12 questions · no email to start · image: Z7_snoring (couple)
cf-03 · woke too early
Wide awake at 3am, again. It's the same time every night for a reason. Twelve quick questions to work out yours.
Answer twelve questions about your nights and get a read of your pattern — what's actually happening, why what you've tried didn't work, and what would have to change. Under ninety seconds. No email to start.
Headline: Your sleep profile, in two minutes · 12 questions · no email to start · image: N10_nightstand_glow
cf-04 · slept but not rested
You slept, and woke up feeling like you hadn't. There's a pattern behind that. Twelve quick questions to find yours.
Answer twelve questions about your nights and get a read of your pattern — what's actually happening, why what you've tried didn't work, and what would have to change. Under ninety seconds. No email to start.
Headline: Your sleep profile, in two minutes · 12 questions · no email to start · image: M1_morning_window
Set: AU · 35+ · iPhone/iPad only · waitlist + customers excluded · Meta optimises on “reached the diagnosis” (custom event DiagnosisView) · A$90/day · 14 days hands-off. Product is not named in the ads; the photo shows a bed, not the speaker.
The emails (The Surfacer shown; the others differ only where marked)
Day 0 · straight away — Your sleep profile: The Surfacer
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> You're not a bad sleeper. You're a light re-settler. Nobody sleeps in one straight line. You sleep in stretches, about an hour and a half each. At the end of each one, you come up close to waking. Just for a moment. Everyone does. Most nights you never remember it. The next minute or two decides the night. If nothing settles you, the overthinking starts. The time. The list. The fact that you're awake. Now you're up for a while. If something settles you first, you go back down. You never know it happened. So you're not a bad sleeper. You come up like everyone does. There's just nothing there, in that minute, to send you back down. What would have to change? Not a better version of what you’ve tried. One thing that does four jobs at once: 1. Only you can hear it — so it can run all night and wake no one. 2. Comfortable enough to sleep on — nothing in your ears, nothing on your wrist. 3. Knows when you're coming up — in the moment, not in the morning. 4. Does something about it — without you doing a thing. You're not awake enough to. That’s your profile. Over the next few days we’ll send a bit more on why nights break the way yours do. Short. You can stop them any time. Your full read is here. — The Drowsie team
Day 1 — Why you wake at the same time every night
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> If you wake at about the same time most nights, it can feel like something in you is set to go off. It isn’t random. And it isn’t you. You sleep in stretches of about an hour and a half. At the end of each one, you come up close to waking. Early in the night the sleep is deep, and you never notice. Later it’s lighter. So the same moment has less holding it down. And if you went to bed at the same time, it lands at the same time. The next minute or two decides it. If the overthinking starts — the clock, the list, the fact of being awake — you’re up. If something settles you first, you go back down. You never know it happened. That’s the whole thing. Not the waking. What happens next. Your read is here. — The Drowsie team
Day 2 — Plays sound, or measures sleep. Never both.
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> Everything you can buy for a broken night does one of two things. Some of it plays sound. Apps, speakers, earbuds. Good at it. But they don’t know you’re awake. They run on a timer. They play the same thing no matter what your night is doing. Some of it measures sleep. Rings, watches. They tell you in the morning how it went. They don’t do anything about it. Nothing does both. Nothing notices you coming up and does something about it, right then, with no help from you. That’s the thing that would have to exist. It does. It’s why we built Drowsie the way we did. See what does both → — The Drowsie team
Day 3 — One owner, one night
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> “I downloaded the app for brown noise on my phone so that I could listen to it without being too noisy for my husband in bed. I love this cool little pillow speaker.” — Lori, verified owner Brown noise from an app already settled her. She just couldn’t play it without the room hearing it. Under the pillow it’s hers alone. The volume is a hand away. No sitting up. That’s night one. From about night four, Drowsie starts choosing which sounds to bring in when you come up. By night thirty it knows you. That’s why the guarantee is sixty nights. And why we ask for thirty of them. See what meets all four → — The Drowsie team
Day 4 — The three things people ask before they buy
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> “I already pay for a sleep app.” Keep it. Play it through Drowsie. Only you’ll hear it. Once you’re asleep, Drowsie takes over. “What if I cancel?” You stop paying. The speaker stays yours. It works over Bluetooth with anything your phone plays. Switch Sleep Club back on any time. “What if it doesn’t work for me?” Then it costs you nothing. Sixty nights. Every dollar back. We cover the return postage. It needs about thirty nights to learn you. So give it at least thirty of the sixty. If it hasn’t earned its place under your pillow by then, it goes back. The speaker is included in Sleep Club. First year {PRICE}. Then {RENEW} a year. No countdown. No fake scarcity. That’s the price. Get your Drowsie → — The Drowsie team
Day 6 — You did the sleep profile six days ago
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> You did the sleep profile six days ago. Your read was The Surfacer: You're not a bad sleeper. You're a light re-settler. Nothing new to say. If it’s for you, here’s the link. If it isn’t, no hard feelings. This is the last of the daily ones. Get your Drowsie → — The Drowsie team
Day 13 — What the first thirty nights look like
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> Night one. You press play on whatever you like. You put the phone down. Only you hear it. That works from the first night. It’s the part most people notice. Nights one to three. Drowsie learns how you settle, and when you start to come up. Through the pillow. Nothing to wear. From about night four. It starts choosing which sounds to bring in when you come up. Quietly. You don’t set anything. Around night thirty. It knows you. You stop thinking about it. It keeps working, because it changes before your brain tunes out. That’s why the guarantee is sixty nights. And why we ask for thirty of them. See what meets all four → — The Drowsie team
Day 20 (last) — The morning after
font-size:18px;line-height:1.7;font-weight:300;"> In the end, people aren’t buying a speaker or an app. They’re buying the morning. Waking up and finding you didn’t fight the night. “For the first time in forever, I fell asleep when my head hit the pillow.” — Jemma D., verified owner This is the last email from us about your sleep profile. If it’s for you, the link is below. If not, we hope the read was useful on its own. Get your Drowsie → — The Drowsie team
Day 0 opens with the archetype line and its own “what’s happening” paragraph. Day 3 (the owner story) is matched: Blocked → Pamela W. · Surfacer and 3AM Riser → Lori · Settler → JL. Everything else is shared. Sending stops for buyers and unsubscribes; steps after Day 0 only send 7am–9pm Melbourne.
How we read it (in this order)
- Ad hook → Q1 match — cost per quiz start by hook.
- Diagnosis CTA click rate — under ~60% means the mechanism section isn’t landing.
- Sales page scroll depth — 25/55/80/100 events; where they stop is the weak section.
- Email gate — capture rate at the gate vs skips.
- Only then, price presentation.
Not done yet
• The Meta ad set (written above, built on your word).
• Post-purchase: buyers get welcome → shipped → delivered → first-night → day-30 today. A night-1 / night-7 / night-21 hand-holding sequence for the learning weeks is NOT built — separate job, say the word.
• The Meta custom conversion for “DiagnosisView” (needs Events Manager — one click, or I do it by API on your word).
• Word count is ~1,800 on the sales page vs the spec’s 2,000–2,800 — say if you want it longer.
• A test profile (dev@drowsie.com, The 3AM Riser) is enrolled — you’ll receive the whole course in your inbox over the next 20 days.